Abroad is bloody. I know I live there.

Aha the problem with a fixer is these days they take your money and do nothing or in my case don't take your money (which should be a worrying sign) and do nothing. I believe it is fair (yeah right) to say that the current corrupt practices in the Republic of India in those states where the state is still working means that only VVIPs get special treatment which annoys the VIPs so much they tend to stand for election at their earliest. A VVIP appears to be a politico where as a VIP appears to be either a Bollywood Hero or Heroine and/or an Industrialist/businessperson. Damn shame really but having loads of dosh doesn't necessarily help. Plus further south you go less corrupt people get in terms of disproportionate assets inquiries/arrests. Not sure if you can bribe people successfully this far south.

For the visa I am relying on having a flush bank balance and a finely composed letter from the Director of SEERI inviting me to study for the MA at the world renowned Mahatma Gandhi University regional centre Kottayam. Though I don't think there is any where else you can take a Syriac conversion course MA for now. Rick seems happy enough to just hand over my dosh, which a friend had offered to do for me as the simplest solution to all the kerfuffle but we get there in the end.

Banks I take a simpler view on. In the end India US UK a banker is someone who takes money from people applies hidden charges but steals a lot less than a professional thief and usually gives you access to some of it on a daily basis, so a bit like my cousins really. Anyway I figure if I tell them I have 50k sterling to invest effically and failing to explain to the banker what I mean by effically (i think it means some sort of conscience payment in eco-friendly tribal hugging nonsense but through some strange quirk of investment practice will also mean massive returns on capital even after banking commission) ok any investment with a decent return for the next few years then he will arrange to take my money. In this world view if I wanted to buy groceries I would visit a grocery store. If I wanted to watch a film I would go to a cinema. I am oversimplifying of course because if I want to watch a film what I would actually do is purchase an Average White McBook become impressario chief roadie and spokesperson for the reformed AWMcB and then use Vuze downloading bit torrent files now over several days with the newly imposed 9 bps limit on downloads and then I would go to my room with my newly purchased double layered vacuum flask filled with soda and fruit juices and then I would watch a film. I am not paying western prices to see a film in an Indian Cinema. Hmm.

Morning prayer wasn't. I am not sure how regular these peeps are at praying. Newbies always complain mind. Give him a few years see how keen he is about morning prayer in his tenth incarnation of it hmmm.