Deux pigeons

Also a literary allusion to a little cafe patronized by benny boys and gels during the early 80s, probably eaten up by a chain now.

So yeah there are two of them, only reason I suspect they are pigeons is because of who is feeding them. Brown feathered tiny ugly with outsized thin beaks would have made good extras for the Wizard of Oz that Witch whom they are now trying to rehabilitate, well good luck with that when you are successful move on to the one with the Spinning Wheel who might already be half done then all you have to go for is Hitler, Stalin or Satan or all three and then you will be ready to work for the Conservative Party.

Fr Biju is taking the 11.am mass (catechesis mass at the forane church which apparently means a deanery church, lower than a cathedral and higher than a parish church). Always liked him what we termed back home as Fr Biju, the lady's man, but not infront of protestants in case they got the wrong idea. Though I once invited a Lutheran to table at the Towers, I had made some comment during the liturgy that we don't hand bread for children to any stray bitches passing by. And if instead one of the stray bitches wanted to present herself to me before I receive communion as my canonical right I would happily spit in her face instead. And I apologized immediately if there was anyone in the chapel who had not been offended by my statements. So sweetness presents herself and I invited her to table and a tour of the towers. Oh yeah then misunderstanding I told the cook Mama Maureen of blessed memory to lay an extra place as my sister was joining us, well long lost sister, well thing is she is a prostitute but please don't embarrass her. First time Mama Maureen came to join us at table out of sheer curiosity. Took a while but I got the gel to explain she wasn't really a protestant but a Lutheran and therefore also truly Catholic at which point Desie Desie Desie.

Looks like they need feeding quite often but the feeders won't interrupt my ablutions and get a little unsettled if I return or leave my cell. Apart from that the little things puff up every time I enter the en suite. Must be a pigeon exercise. I am sure there would have been some kind of Tai Chi Wushu pose adapted for it if they weren't such secretive animals. Oh I say that means I can develop one myself.

And this students is called pigeon cooing in the morning before feeding and it is performed in nest position.

Meditation is still holding barely. I make the 4.am then as it was Sunday today I slept in from five till nine. Had a chat with Maryvalan Thomas Fr who sort of asked why am I here. Very indirect chappy aren't they all. I think the problem is I am not welcome here. I am not welcome because initially I talked too much asked too many questions. The Philosophy teachers here seem to believe for their students at least in a perennial philosophy, they have the answers to atheism and all other lesser belief systems. They teach it you understand it and all your anxieties are relieved. Not for me really.

The spirituality and counselling course is a cross between a two year extended retreat with some professional input. Too crowded. Perhaps I might have belonged if I came at the start of the year. But even within the course you get niggles.

I think and hope that Syriac Studies is more for me. Lots of solitary study. I was thinking about my first book. Loads to publish of original manuscripts of the eastern church fathers, most of whom no one in the West has heard of, or perhaps wants to. But I thought an East Syriac edition of the Gospel of Matthew with commentary and grammatical explanatory notes. It's not particularly a long text. Most editions are in West Syriac and if there is an edition printed with grammatical explanatory notes I haven't seen it. It's a plan. Perhaps for the third year after the Masters. Then either I am sucked into SEERI, Kottayam and have become too strange and institutionalized ever to be happy elsewhere or I go do another masters or PhD in the East maybe the Lebanon.

Key is to avoid subjects that require you to think and ask questions. Syriac you just need to think and solve problems.