Sorrow is the ransom price for imprisoned joy, for the world was made not for suffering but for joy

Haven't brought my satprem with me as usual the french syntax is better, wasted on the french. I think I shall struggle through Savitri for that line alone it's worth it.

So apart from the struggle against meditation slowly being lossed. Like a winter assault on Moscow or a campaign against moral right, this morning I had worked out that there is nothing wrong with meditating horizontally. The back is straight the only reason it's discouraged is because no pain is involved and what's all that about really.

Good news is my ego is being rewarded for its remissness. Now this is a world I can do business with. Money should be released soon from John's cheque. I am guessing next week. Today I shall try and get Power and the Glory, Landmark being an american capitalist and evil firm usually make their deadlines, whereas the really spiritual people and places, well being spontaneous and yeah right if I actually want the thing I'll stick with the sons of darkness who plan and are more subtle in their dealings with men than the children of the light, then.

Looking forward to the Alchemist on Sunday. Trick with love and romance it's actually great fun so long as you don't care. On that why do they always add, this has been the most difficult letter I have ever had to write, does no one learn writing technique any more. Show me don't tell me. Plus on a Dear John letter it's safer to assume that it's going to be more difficult for the reader than the writer and even if you have nailed it, written the most perfectly written dump that could be devised by the most gentle wise and wonderful of peeps in finest poetic, you should still leave that sense that it's not really going to be enough. If I am ever called upon to write such a letter I will show you a copy because for me I will still be relying on the balls and eyes in the formaldyhide cup to show that I am both caring genuine and regret the dishonour inflicted upon the widow, please don't mention this to Jesus you can see he is a busy guy, why don't we work something out for the kids, a educational trust perhaps.

But I have Jose working interference for me with any luck I won't actually meet an eligible widow or if I do I shall confuse her for a Syriac Grammar text that I had read but now feel is the time to move on to primary source materials. I don't think I'll actually give any lessons to the Thais but it was nice of them to ask and I don't think they were doing the Xtian thing pretending to ask for help when they were actually giving which is one day to get out of a lonely Xmas day here if you are priest or religious. You go round day before with loads of food and ask them to cook it for tomorrow I shall dine in your house Zaccheus.

I think I is having a mini-depression but it's fine for meditating light reading and Syriac Studies. If I finish the Robinsons 14 chapters to go in 19 days and I am averaging a chapter a day. That will give me a gentle buzz and I am not overly sold on Vipassana. Sri Aurobindo mind is still appealing except you have to take him on trust. I'll have a go at Savitri. I think he writes too much like me as an adolescent. It's a pretentious well ok camp well it's a huge epic containing the msytery and truth of all his experiences starts off a bit like the Upanishads and I never made it very far into the thing. But it looks like it has a few good lines worth mining for.

Oh and Codemasters sent me one of their regular updates, which is handy, even if they don't reply but if they do it makes resubscribing so much easier. Not sure how it's done in India but if I stick to my old account or at least get the client for next week when I get a free week, well handy eh not so much the universe working with me as the persistence of automated emails paying off in the end.

Xmas in Goa. Quiet works or Christmas sweets and it's Christmas have to overeat a little unless that's really disrespectful but isn't it disrespectful everywhere and I am pretty sure I am not into do-gooding. If the poor expect to be fed then they are going to have to become more proactive. Haven't I always said to them, never ask for what you can't take. You think a slavemaster just frees slaves, what do you think you are caged chinese birds, even the caged chinese birds aren't caged chinese birds.

So mini-depression but I can sense something under the clouds. Oh and I get to go on the annual picnic I think they agreed Nandi Hills for the 5th December just made it. If there is something terrible about to happen, like always didn't have a clue. But there never is any point in doubling the guards it just stretches the line too thinly.

Nope that's definitely it. I'll write more when I've done some more Syriac, got a meditation done, and purchased Power and the Glory.