Manipur

I dunno one of the Egyptians I quite like the smooth easy dancer starts a conversation on just war over brekkie, now how is that going to be non-controversial. Ended up with my shouting at the bloody Syro-Malankaran priest yeah I should have learnt their names so, now he is telling me there are no problems in the north east or all countries have their problems. He has never heard of the AF(SP)A, India has a free media if there was any problem in the north east then he would have heard about it. I am sorry I had to shout. The real problem is that the Syro-Malankaran Church doesn't exist and I therefore never had that conversation.

I decided to get books I wouldn't mind reading so I got Godiva, by Nerys who died while it was being published first novel. Not that great a first novel, maybe Bro Cadfael level of literature but in the epilogue she argues that perhaps the legend of the humiliation of a woman was an allegory for the humiliation of a culture and people by invading colonial powers. Had a theory that women had real power and independence in Anglo-Saxon tribal society destroyed by Norman urbanization. Godiva is said to be blood related to Robin Hood and Hereward. Because of the protest of the Meira Paibi I got the book, but it also fits the charge of the light brigade and all the noble magnificent futile gestures that put the Brit into Britain.

So maybe development is one asuric force and totalitarianism now Fundamentalism are the counter-revolutionary forces. The mahatma is a future. Not because we can all be saints but because we know and approve of sainthood, The mahatma offers a path for the suicide of our egos with honour. The ego will die if it loves life as much as it claims it will allow life to continue and to evolve. If not it will take everything down with it. So I'll give her my Burrgraeve she wanted logic, I'll give her logic. She might even understand it and disagree.

I can't help becoming isolated. The guy starts telling me oh its easy to criticize my country. I didn't swear but how can anyone who loves his country sit back and pretend he does not know what is going on. Oscar Wilde helped me though. I asked him if he would die for Manipur he said yes of course. No man dies for what he truly believes in, he dies for things he fears in the secret terror of his heart are false, dying for belief is the final desperate act of one who knows he is a liar. Though I think Oscar put it more beautifully. Well he was a poof. I don't think I would have fitted in as an outcast poof either mind.

So now to read Gallileo's daughter, oddly it's a book I always wanted to read (had i known etc). Just between you me and the internet though strictly should that now be among or can I stick with between there are at least two theories on that one, I feel although Sharmila C. is a Mahatma Brahmacharya (selfless celibate) that one day perhaps we could get married, I am just writing loudly here, so first she'd have to get some health back, I dunno maybe six months, gradually get her weight and physical health sorted, rest up somewhere she'd probably need to stay in manipur so it's more a question of getting therapists to her. And just because she belongs to the world and has a quest to help human evolution for the entire planet I thought maybe one day we might have a daughter oops no imagination didn't quite snap it just began to fade away and lose heart so where yep I'll start reading Gallileo's daughter, the beauty of not knowing anything I think she became a nun and did the penance that he was supposed to do, something like a sin-eater. They had a long correspondence. She was very bright, pity she was a gel and everything, otherwise might have had the nuclear bomb a lot sooner or time machines or whatever she would have. Instead she loved her dad. That's the thing I want a daughter who actually loves me ok so she gets her heart broken by some dumbass visiting marine what did you see in him but I won't tell her that, but loves me I don't mind getting annoyed with me but not trying to rob me or sell me out to some dacoits and have me killed for a few bob, gel if you want anything just take it you don't have to ask. And if she takes after her mother.

A lot of people think they are one-offs, but this one is anomalous. I must resist the temptation of murdering her, of trying to make her knowable and understandable of negating her. Just a matter of staying with the discomfort. Though I find trying to meditate regularly difficult enough. Trick seems to be not to keep compromising. The more I give in the more lax it gets. How did she just say I have a bounden duty touch mother's foot and then not take food or water again for 9 years.

60 high powered injuns around me and they all know about the church in Ernakulam with the statue of our lady rosa mystica that leaks healing honey, but only a few know of Irom Sharmila Chanu and most of them think I have made her up.

But good news is they have lessened restrictions. Foreigners wishing to travel to Manipur now need go only in groups of 2 or more so I just need to take one person with, be accompanied by a registered travel agent and may stay for up to 30 days. I think that means I apply for the permit for 30 days find a friend to travel with, then apply to the prison and home affairs department for a prison visit and badaboom badabing I gets to see her.

Nothing kills off a marriage child phantasy better than a face to face meeting. Oh so you're Irom Sharmila Chanu I thought you'd be taller. It would feel really odd if she were to die soon because it never happens that way in a decent film.