Feast of the ArchAngels

Have you noticed some days a priest's homily is like a stand-up routine at a working men's club only there so the strippers can get changed into their next outfit. The secular priest can't really believe that we would all be informed and entertained by his soliluquy on the meaning of names, I should rather have listened to the unforgettable multi-media presentation, boiler rooms I have known. Anyway prayed for She and eventually the Christ turned up. These Roman Rite peeps would try the patience of a very impatient person.

Take the Syro-Malankara rite. Now that's a magicko religious rite. At one stage you are surrounded by gusts of incense, bells are going off, the Grail Knights in a semi-circle around the altar, are widdling their hands in mysterious ways (and we are all facing the same way none of this novus ordo nonsense). If I were an Angel and I'd have preferred a homily on Angels even to Boiler Rooms I have loved the Sequel, I'd be scrambling around screaming are we under attack, who set off all the alarms, where's all that smoke coming from, M'aidez, m'aidez. That's how to prepare for a visitation of the Christ.

Tridentinists feel that the modern western rite was conjured by Satan to disrespect the real presence in the Eucharist and is part of Modernity's plan of mini-skirts, adultery, fornication and why do I never get invited to dem parties. (The last bit was me not the). Liturgists argue that it's a bit like a Shakespeare play but one translated into Chinese in the 16th century. We end up five hundred years later with a Mandarin text full of transcription errors, all the stage directions have now become speeches, the asides have become stage directions, and every now and then we get meaningless sections resembling anecdotes told by a Director to his side-kick from the 18th century and Car 54 where are you need a pick-up to Heathrow Stat. They have both points to consider. You can't negotiate with a Liturgist and the neo-tridentinists are always in search of a good witch burning. So thank God I tells ya that you don't really understand the basic principles because if you did and you had any sanity, job to do, or anything at all you would not give a flying tackle for the issues.

Back to Syro-Malankara, which is a more authentic version than the Syro-Malabar who run south India. Our one Syro-Malankara priest got quite agitated about the discrimination with his peers at table a few days back he only stopped going on about well why do we get just a balcony for our Archbishop then when I commented about plus ca change, people are bigots the world over, and then he switched to Malayalam and more calmly. I lasted two hours at the Syro-Malankara service but that included prayers for the dead if I had lasted another hour I could have taken breakfast with them but the flesh is weak. And for the record, this is official teaching, no you cannot just wander in and out of an Eastern Rite service because they go on for hours, so you are allowed to pop in for five minutes swish your hands about in the wrong direction and then go off on your rounds. Admittedly mediterranean Caflicks have sex with their friends during the week, boast about it to the priest on Sunday at confession and then carry on next week. That too is not Western Rite teaching. I hope I have cleared this up now. The Eastern Rite service is like any magicko-religious act, you form a magick circle and anyone who breaks the circle invites demonic possession, death, damnation and the only reason it doesn't affect Western Eastern Ritists is that they were probably going to Hell anyway so it doesn't matter that they blaspheme so by popping in for five minutes to check how the service was doing, it's not like checking on a roasting chicken. In fact if we had to use culinary metaphors it would be more like checking on a souflee.

The Archbishop was presiding and by Archbishop I mean the Head of the Syro-Malankara Rite. I think they copy Rome too much. Choir is a distraction just draws away from the magick. Although some damn fine wimin they have there another type of sari completely. Kerala white with gold stripe and oh yes the service. Now I don't mean this in a simplistic peasant caflick neo-Tridentinist way. I am a highly twained liturgist. The eastern rite are not supposed to have full conscious active participation in oh let's go to a football match and have a sing-song eh lads, way of the West. Yeah Yeah it's not like that right. The Archbishop rightly sat out the communion. There would have been a stampede past the junior priests and archdeacons for him and I'd have been at the head of the Maul.

So I am up to 55 books for the Lambadis. Just need 95 more I am hoping for a serialization of the Ramayana which I think is going reduced for 1k rupees but if it's 50 books it's a steal. If it's 30 I'll still take it. Less than that and we have the classic nightmare scenario. I'll skip the whiskey for the priest. I'll give him cash. It's gonna be a heavy bag. Not sure what else to tell ya. I miss my mother. The world will end and I have a way that I can live until it does.

Oh but I managed the first 17 verses of Matthew in Syriac the original language. I am pressing ahead with the reading skill. Also stepping back from time to time to crossword solve, parse words from the text. This I can do. John the Just returns to India on October 5 but as I am travelling to Nellikuduru probably won't catch up with him until at least I make Pondicherry. I hope he is nice to me that priest when I reach the Prema Seva Ashram. I don't wish to sound fickle or disloyal but if he is not nice to me then I will not return. It's not love that I do for I will think on them wish them well, buy pressies, campaign with the OIAHE for their long term security, but I can drop them from my heart in a heartbeat and think on them no more. Maya is frighteningly powerful because of its unreality. I am sure Love is not like the thing I do.